C is for Clarity!

It is all to often I hear people saying that they can never achieve their goal no matter what they do. They've written it down. They've made the lists and done the work. But something is not hitting home for them. This would be where I step in and ask them:
"Can you see what it is you are aiming at?"
You see, it's not enough to just say you are going for a drive if you really have a destination. You might end up anywhere and on any road.
So what do you do? You sit down, get a pen and paper and whittle your goal down till you know exactly what it is you are aiming at.
For instance, if you ask people what they want most in life, the majority of people will say "Happiness". What's wrong with that you say? Nothing, however it is very vague. Happiness means something different for everyone and you need to know what you would have to be aiming to do in order to be happy and ask why is that your goal in order to fuel the motivation behind it.
I know, it's simpler to say, "just want to be happy" but if you really want to achieve it you need to go further than that.
So next time you are aiming to get the highest score in darts, remember, aim for the bullseye and not just the board!

B is for Better!

People who feel that their lives should be better are either going for it themselves with the support of friends and family and achieving it, however, there are many who do not have that support and that is when they come to me for help and support! These fantastic people want more from life, they know that they can do and deserve better.
The most effective way to be your best is to have set goals in areas of your life which you feel are not getting the attention they need. For example, Mary* was delighted with the way she was raising her family and felt she was doing all she could for her community and friends, but she feared that if she didn't do something about her diet and exercise, she was going to be heading towards problems in the future. She also worried about going back to the work force after having stayed home to raise her twin boys who were now 5 and starting school. Through goal setting and realistic targets for Mary* to do, she was able to make her life more balanced and feel she was striving for the best in ALL areas of her life.
As human beings, we need to feel a sense of achievement in our lives in order to feel content. It's nature and when people don't pay attention to this need and try to mask it with things such as alcohol, drugs, food, etc. they often spiral into bad mental health such as depression and anxiety.
So how do you achieve your best? There are 10 different areas of your life:
1. Career
2. Health & Fitness
3. Finances
4. Spiritual
5. Significant Other/Romance
6. Friends & Community
7. Personal Development/Education
8. Fun/recreation/Self-care
9. Material possessions
10. Family

If you can mark yourself 10 out of 10 for each of these areas, I may have to consider you a guru.
I personally access my life every 3 months, as a lot can happen in 3 months and then take steps to bring all the areas up to where they should be. Takes a little bit of effort and not a lot of time to do this and will leave you happier than you could imagine. So take the challenge to better yourself and start NOW!

Once you have tried this and have made a difference, please let me know by emailing me at: siobhan@greenergrasscoaching and give me permission to inspire others by sharing your story on my website.

* A different name has been used to keep my client anonymous but she has given permission for me to use her as an example. As you know, as a coach, all client details are kept under the strictest confidentiality clause and I would never jeopardize my own name or the name of my clients by breaking it.

A is for Awareness!

As a life coach and a human being (no tentacles or fangs here), I have found that awareness was one of the most important lessons I learned through achieving my life coaching accreditation as well as through my coaching clients.
It is only when you become aware of a habit or a way of thinking that you have been following such as negative self talk or criticizing others, that you can do something about it i.e. take responsibility.
You may be asking, "How do I become aware?". Simple. Observe your life. If you go through your day and do not make an effort to learn something new, whether through increased knowledge on a subject or about yourself, then I find it hard to believe that you are living the life that you truly want and strive for. It is only through observation and learning that we can better ourselves and push ourselves to achieve more in our lives and live up to the potential that we possess. Now I know not everyone is aware that they have potential and that is often when people come to me for coaching and wonder some of the following:

• Why can I not get a job I like?
• Why can i not find Mr./Ms. Right?
• Can I really do this?
• Do I have what it takes?
• Is this all there is to life?

Some of these may sound familiar and you may have some of your own to add to the list but essentially, you get the point.
For example, I was out with my friend the other day and the waitress delivered a plate to my friend. I instantly jumped in with a

"Thank you"

to the waitress and then she was gone. My friend gave me a look and said nothing. Curiosity killed the cat and I asked, "What did I do wrong?". She made me aware that I never allowed her to say thank you for herself and made her feel as if she was being thought a lesson by her Mum and felt it made her appear rude. I apologised and have since stopped doing this to the point where other friends and family members who obviously were biting their tongues all along, had noticed the change. All learning, all improvement.
So if something is not going right for you such as never getting that second interview or dates never working out, ask friends or family to help you to become aware of anything you may say or do and then it is up to you to take the next step. If you cannot take criticism, work on that first as family and good friends often are very honest and you may not be ready to hear what they have to say. They are helping, remember!

To check out Siobhan's column in The Kilkenny People, just click here.